3 years down..

A lot can happen in a moment. Start pondering over the past three years and your brains would implode.

Honestly, I never thought I would be doing this, again. When I started writing blogs, it was for my personal gratification, my personal escape from a lot of circumstances that I thought I was too young to understand. And I mean Death mostly. Never had I thought about it in a way I did when I witnessed it from a close distance. So close, it still hurts. 

And here I am, 3 years down, having experienced even more stuff and still alive. Well, I never thought I would die obviously. Too young. But yes, I never saw myself in a way I am today. Alive in a completely different manner. No I did not find any elixir or something. I did not get any more richer. Still a student which I believe you remain for your entire life 'cause life never stops serving its lessons. So what if you don't have any space left on your plate? No issue. 

And, the fabric of my being still remains somewhat same.

Yet I have changed. And in wonderful ways. I came to a new city, experienced opportunities and transience of time and people, but very importantly, learned about self love.
They say loving someone unconditionally is hard. Let me tell you that loving oneself unconditionally is much more harder. I think we have become so accustomed to seeing ourselves from the point of view of others that we actually don't take out time to see us for ourselves. Like when was the last time you thought "Hey! I feel good today so let's dress up nicely!", or, "I am just going to sit here alone without giving a damn to the fact that others might think I am a loner".
This is what I want us as individuals to do. STOP thinking over others' opinions about oneself.

The past year I had a strong urge to fall in love. It had been pointed out to me that I had never been in a relationship and that I should maybe open the doors to my heart. But on the whole, I too wanted to love someone, who wasn't my family, friends or animals ( dogs) for that matter.
And then the classic hangout case happened with me. I was sitting with my friends in a cafe talking about our school life and the topic of "crushes" popped up. And there it occurred, the realization that I actually had a crush on the person concerned 'cause I fell for his attributes.
I came back home and the thought still clouded my head space. And as I came out of my introspection mode I knew that what I had been doing all along was falling in love with the ideas and attributes that I thought I lacked somehow. It wasn't the person! Just the fact that he was good in certain areas of life where I was either bad or never tried my hands at. Then and there I knew that I needed to do stuff and try and become good at some of those. I needed to fall in love with myself to find the right person to fall in love with. And here I am.

Love doesn't necessarily mean the good stuff. I won't ever preach in the name of self love to just take yourselves out or pamper yourselves with spa and dinner dates. Like seriously! Self love means more than this. I would say it involves a lot more of 'make and break yourself.'  Pushing yourself through hard times, accepting your own flaws and committing yourself to working on them, and falling in love with the idea of oneself, is Love. It's self love in its purest form.

So I would recommend all to stop searching for the love outside and first find the love within.
'Cause in a world full of hatred and despise, to love others in their full appreciation, you gotta start loving yourself dear.